accessory weapons

Maybe norms and fashion scouts are getting back on the glamour crust punk train.
Maybe people want to prepare themselves for the upcoming class war.
Or just people are goading me and my "no firearms" policy here at the shop.


I've been getting a lot of requests for Doc Martins, bullet belts, military regalia and other "accessory weapons" lately. Is there a Renaissance Faire in Madison under my radar? (I was once turned away from one of those events as a kid because a halfling said I was too ugly to get in. Close call!) My dad is slowly purging his basement of his Civil War reenacting artifacts... has that sparked a demand? I thought this steampunk shit was dead and gone!

As an overgrown teenager and incorrigible asshole, if I wear or have worn it, it's generally acceptable. I have worn a few weapons for flip and fight reasons. Here's 4 foggy notions on what this phrase means:

1.) Vile necklace with anthrax. Get one. (Anthrax sold separately). I love these sorts of things. I think there's a twee little jellyfish in this one.

2.)  I was once kicked out of the freshmen dorms for having a bong, a bullet belt, a few butterfly knives and stacks of Easyrider magazines with googly eyes glued on tits. But I think my chrome bullets is what did me in.

3.) Noose braids a la April Fool's Day. This b-loved movie is not only uncomprehensibly stupid, but filled with all sorts of blood party scenes. However, the noose braid only appears on the VHS sleeve.

4.) Apache knuckle dusters.
 These are sickest pieces ever. The gun operates on the principle of a pepperbox revolver and incorporates a fold-over knuckle duster forming the grip and also a foldout knife blade. This handheld Frenchy will add a certain je nai sais quoi to any street fight.

I'm on a first name basis with this weapon accessory; I call it an Apache.
It just so happens the San Francisco-based powerpop pearls Apache is one of Burger Records' best sellers and total fuckin' dreamboats. Our Phoebe knew Apache's beirdo frontman, Omar, from another vintage shack out by the bay.

Sniff this early eponymous cassette by Apache, if you can get your hooks in it. It's racy, has a touch of early Hanoi Rocks cock-solos, and is a notch higher than Mean Jeans' latest in my freakin' weeken' hype mix. I got mine from LA Record, because their awesome label, Burger Records, sells a lot of stuff fast.

Apache has 2010's full length "Radical Sabbatical" available, too.  Oh yeah! Paroose Burger Records' killr inventory of 70s sleazerock reappropriation and good lovin' garage LPs and tapes. I'm very close to getting a bunch of their releases stocked in this store... before their Midwest store opens! More on Apache's 2011 tour.

Okay, later for now!